and one fine morning…
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your boldness stands alone among the wreck
Jun 10th
Recently, I’ve noticed an interesting phenomenon with how I think about decisions. Basically, if it’s after 10 or 11 P.M. I’m a bit more melancholy about things. I find myself missing people that I care about but haven’t seen in a long time. Normally, I would write this off, but it’s been relatively consistent recently. The result though is that I consider the plans that I have made for the upcoming days, and start to reconsider all of them. I start to feel lonely and wonder if the plans that I have made are just empty emollients.
Here is the thing I can’t figure out: which of my persistent mindsets is more accurate to reality? Is it the sleepy and somewhat contemplative emotional mindset? Or is it the face-to-the-sun headstrong and sanguine mindset? How does one find out?
Hot Dude Party is on a break for the summer, and Chaos is in a serious MCAT study zone and therefore not very much fun to be around because MCAT is all that’s on his mind. But on May 26, we played a show at Herman’s Hideaway and my brother took photos, for example the one above. Meanwhile, in real life, closer and closer to finishing my first paper for submission.
Gabby is out here for two days for a conference, and it’s awesome to see him. He seems to work his ass off, and I really admire him. He’s staying at the St. Julien hotel, and it’s seriously posh inside. I haven’t been in a nicer hotel since staying at 21c in Louisville, KY.
I can’t stop listening to this song: Little Lion Man, by Mumford and Sons. It’s so good. Their whole album is good. A million thanks to Mike Larremore for the recommendation on these guys.
grade you on your curves
Sep 28th
Haven’t posted in a while, but here’s the recap:
-Spent two weeks in Panama over the summer. Awesome. Pictures to come, eventually.
-Spent all summer studying for the Analysis prelim with RL. RPed it, so now I am done with prelims.
-Continue doing neuronal network research with JR.
-Worked on my house.
-Made better friendships.
-Switched to iPhone.
Ok. Now that that’s out of the way, I won’t feel some sort of annoying reluctance to write anything, feeling like I have too much “catch up” to do.
’cause we don’t believe in filler, baby
Apr 16th
My grandfather worked for Colgate Palmolive for many many years, running their R&D department and filing a whole slew of patents. Growing up, I got to use the sparkle toothpaste before it was on the market, because I had access to the pre-sales samples of the stuff. It would come in a white tube, with a number or a sticker on it. The name Colgate was nowhere on it. It was just formula number blah blah blah.
These days, my grandfather suffers from dementia, and his cognitive functions have pretty much all declined. He is a sweet, kind, and pleasant person to be around, but he doesn’t remember me any more. The last time she visited, he wasn’t quite sure who my mother was. But he has been able to cling on to the memory of my grandmother this whole time, always knowing who she was. Last week, he forgot.
As they were getting into bed, he asked her—being a polite man, getting into bed with a mysterious woman—if they were married. She said that yes, they were, and that they had been married for over half a century. This memory has continued to fade though, and two nights ago, he looked over at her, took her hand, and proposed to her. She said yes.
know the parasites burn beneath the lights
Feb 28th
Well. I haven’t written in a while. Here is the adventure/reason:
1/14 9:00 A.M. – Training for GS at Eldora. Soft snow. Needed more slipping, but I tried to run the course anyway. A few gates down the pitch, I was a little late into the turn, lost edge in the soft, and slid into the slipped snow. Tumbled down. Broke tibia and fibula.
1/14 10:30 A.M. – Made it down to Boulder Community Hospital. It’s a type of fracture described as “transverse” and “closed.” That means that the breaks were straight across the bones, and not spiral, and that the broken bones didn’t pierce through my skin. Not too bad to repair.
1/14 5:00 P.M. – Surgery begins. I remember telling them that the Versed wasn’t working as they wheeled me into the OR. I guess I must have slurred those words a lot, because they laughed and smiled. Then, they put a mask over my mouth, and I don’t remember anything until I woke up in recovery, feeling very warm, and very content. High.
1/15 2:00 P.M. – Head home. For the next 5 days, I stayed in Denver, obliterated on Percocet, and trying to stay positive. My mother spent the nights at my house with me. My father came during the day. I have no idea how to say thank you to them properly, except that I would do the same for them.
1/21 12:00 P.M. – Try to go to class. Uncomfortable. Brain very clouded from drugs still. It was worth a shot. DK and BM take care of my wonderfully, and are spectacular roommates.
1/23 9:00 A.M. – Recheck. Things are healing nicely. The splint comes off to be replaced by a walking boot. Still on crutches. I get a PT start date. The boot beats the hell out of the splint, because I can move my knee. Stretching my calf feels incredible.
2/20 9:30 A.M. – Recheck #2. Apparently the healing isn’t quite enough yet for me to start walking without crutches. Crutchfest extended for another week. Dang. Upping the calcium and vitamin D intake to hilarious levels.
2/28 5:00 P.M. – Starting to walk again on Monday, without the crutches. I can’t wait.