and one fine morning…
Archive for September, 2006
Élan
Sep 28th
The last time I was talking to Vic about naming his prototype machines, I came back to my desk and read my friend’s journal, in which she used the word Jouissance. Pleasure, or orgasm. Though inappropriate, it sounded like it would be a cool name for the machine. Vic has already named his machine type Libi, but I want to give her surnames.
Libi, according to Vic, comes from the fact that his creative passion for the machine is analogous to the creative passion that a lover feels when he creates a child. I can’t speak to that, but I can hear in his voice that he means it. Libi needs surnames now, as newer and newer revisions of the machine are produced, and so I’ve given her the following surnames. Thanks to Sela for the inspiration.
Libi: A Volonte
Libi: Bravoure
Libi: Élan
Libi: Pouvoir
Libi: Vertu
Libi: Autorite
Libi: Force
Libi: Vainqueur – (this is particularly sweet since it translates to victor…shortened to Vic.)
Part of me feels odd naming a machine that processes blood into components, but the names seem right when I hear Vic telling me what he has changed in the latest revisions. I like Vic. He’s an inspiration.
I read from Soleil that Terry Smith has passed away. Terry coached speech and debate at Arvada. Other than Greg, Terry probably had the biggest influence on my speaking confidence just due to the fact that he was young and cool, and not a grillow old man like the other coaches. Other than at tournaments last spring, I last ran into Terry at a bar near Cap Hill, where we had a hilarious conversation about whether the person against whom I was playing pool was a man or a woman. I talked with Brandon and him for a while that night, and then next saw him at Lakewood in January. Two weeks ago, he was found in a Las Vegas hotel room, having overdosed and taken his own life. It is my hope that he knew how many minds he inspired in his time with us. Rest in peace, Terry Smith.
My final days until freedom find me increasingly energetic and impatient with the slow passage of time. I want Saturday to be Now.
When robots attack…
Sep 26th
Studying for the LSAT is almost fun. Almost. It’s not so bad, because there’s no memorization: You show up and get a test booklet that has everything that you need to know inside it. I’m very thankful for that. On the other hand, some of the questions are very tough and very detail-oriented. This is fine for a test that one takes in the morning, but it’s difficult for the practice exams taken after dark, when the mind has been smashed around all day by engineering work.
I finally was able to provide the experimental data I needed to convey my distaste for a certain sampling method that we use, which, up until now, has been a trusted method of sampling. However, this method is both wildly inaccurate and wildly imprecise. The result is that we’ve drawn conclusions from what really amounts to bogus data. However, all is not lost…
I’ve come up with a way to solve our problem. We need purity in a tube to sample it properly, but the tube is never at steady state. At the inlet of the tube, we alternate putting in A and B. But since the flow is semi-laminar, slow-mixing occurs in the transitions to steady state after each change from A to B and vice versa. Therefore, sampling closer to the inlet of the tube will show a faster transition to steady state A or B, simply due to its proximity to the source. No one believed that this applied to our system until I spent about $5,500 worth of blood to finish the experiment, under heavy fire.
The result is that we’ll save at least that amount in the quality of our data. To spend hundreds of thousands of dollars on clinical trials which yield bad data is ludicrous. I feel very vindicated today.
Swing low sweet fist, broke at the wrist.
Sep 21st
I finally caved in and bought sunglasses. And I bought new earrings. I like them all, quite frankly.
I have earrings that are twists – the metal horseshoe shape with a ball on each end with a twist so that the flat horseshoe is a spiral. So I lost one of those little sphere guys overnight, exposing the screw end of the twist, and I was unable to locate it in or around the bed. The end of the workday found me at a local tattoo and piercing place in order to get new earrings – I had had this sort of thing happen before, and due to threading differences, it’s easier to just buy a new earring than a new ball.
The girl at the counter approached me – beautiful. She was small and pierced and tattooed, as one would expect, but she had dark hair and deep brown eyes which opened wide, and I was immediately captivated. So I reached toward my ear as an indication of the problem, and stammered out with,
“Last night one of my balls fell off.”
Then I blushed and almost died standing there at the counter, the first words out of my mouth an utter train wreck, with a statuette of pierced pulchritude watching the debacle and trying not to laugh. Dammit.
Now I’m going to continue to listen to Pistolita’s album, and maybe if I have the balls I’ll go back and talk with her again.
Fitzgerald, F. Scott
Sep 19th
And as I sat there brooding on the old, unknown world, I thought of Gatsby’s wonder when he first picked out the green light at the end of Daisy’s dock. He had come a long way to this blue lawn, and his dream must have seemed so close that he could hardly fail to grasp it. He did not know that it was already behind him, somewhere back in that vast obscurity beyond the city, where the dark fields of the republic rolled on under the night.
Gatsby believed in the green light, the orgastic future that year by year recedes before us. It eluded us then, but that’s no matter—to-morrow we will run faster, stretch out our arms farther. . . . And one fine morning——
So we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.
The Dalai Lama
Sep 17th
The XIV Dalai Lama gave a talk today at the Pepsi Center in Denver, entitled The Science of a Compassionate Life. I don’t really know how the name was generated, but it was certainly off the mark; the talk was focused on love and compassion. Many valuable lessons were shared, but some of the most immediately meaningful to me are constructed below, though I may not do the best job in the details.
The Dalai Lama suggests that no action is truly negative in its intent. A person makes what he considers to be the best decision, given the circumstances at the time. Given the circumstances at the time. This is the important part: the creation of a disconnect from the moment allows the opportunity for better perspective. To really understand the larger circumstances requires deliberate thought. When we are angry and do something hurtful toward another human being, our feelings at the time may tell us that our actions will produce the most benefit for us. But deliberation reveals that perhaps a different course of action will produce more of a net benefit. Focus must be shifted from my short term to the world’s long term. Then our actions can truly reflect the goodness of the human spirit.
The Dalai Lama comment on other religions. His stance was very accepting of the differences, but much more focused on the common threads:
1. Love
2. Compassion
3. Forgiveness.
He was sure to emphasize that the first two were the key common values, and that the third would follow from their synthesis. Especially refreshing was his perspective on Islam, as a later audience question asked him how to best cope with the growing negative public perception of Islam as a violent and reprehensible religion. In a very poignant and intelligent comment, the Dalai Lama differentiated Islam from Fanaticism immediately. Part of this may have been a public response to the recent incendiary comments of Benedict XVI, yet he also noted that his comments should be taken into context with the rest of the conflicts around the world – India, the Middle East, and the United States.
The true power of the Dalai Lama is the example that he sets. He is immediately humble and kind, and even in a sold out stadium of attentive ears that don’t hear in his native tongue, he maintains a calm soul and joyous demeanor. To hear one of the world’s religious leaders joke about his baldness, his greying eyebrows or his need for an ointment to combat the dessicating effect of Denver’s arid climate is immediately endearing and grounding. The XIV Dalai Lama professes that he is just a simple Buddhist monk and a human being. He is correct, and speaks from his heart. There is no pretense, and that is precisely why his talk this afternoon was so invigorating and moving.
In the spirit of proliferating his message of education, I’d like to recommend reading the history and status quo situation with which Tibet is faced: Read
Epic Night Recovery Programme
Sep 16th
•9:00 roll out of bed, followed by immediate teeth-brushing
•Cursory cleaning of room
•Load of laundry
•2-3 slices of last night’s pizza
•1/2 quart of gatorade, lemon lime, mixed from powder
•Couch + Blanket + Ibuprofen
•Nap for the duration of Beck’s Sea Change.
Noyau
Sep 12th
I live in Denver, in a small house in the suburbs with my friends Brandon and Ryan. Another Ryan and another Dan live nearby, and the five of us spend a lot of time together. If Peter and Christian still lived here, we would be with them most of the time as well, but Peter will be in Philadelphia until the new year and Christian is finishing up his undergraduate degree in architecture in New Haven, CT.
I work a 7:30 to 5:00 shift, doing research chemical engineering, which really means that I run experiments in a lab and then play with the data in spreadsheets and meetings, and craft stories and understand relationships based on vast arrays of otherwise insignificant numbers.
I’m getting sick right now, which means I wore a tie to work today. If you wear sweat pants or comfortable clothes when you’re getting sick, or feeling down, people will make negative comments about your appearance, or ask you what’s wrong. If you wear a tie, people tell you that you look good, which makes you feel good. I wear a tie when I’m getting sick so that I feel more confident, despite infirmity, and people tell me that I look nice all day. It’s the same reason people take herbal supplements, but as a point of contrast, I am actually cognizant of the fact that I’m excercising the placebo effect.
A commitment to rigorous self improvement and enrichment is good. It’s where I’m focusing now, and I think that’s ok. In the next months, I will come to terms with more of my own shortcomings and emotional weaknesses. A wise friend of mine told me Be that which you would become, and I intend to.